


i think we're alone now

by flowerpil



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: All the relationships are platonic, F/M, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Texting, The Umbrella Academy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2019-12-30 14:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18316880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerpil/pseuds/flowerpil
Summary: santa klaus: ..he looked like a porcupine when we found himsanta klaus: a porcupine of knives that iscinco: ah yes klaus because everyone knows what a porcupine of knives looks likefuck you leonard: yeah but he had an eyepatch so he was a..fuck you leonard: pirate-knife porcupine?santa klaus: and i thought i was the stoner here?--someone gave klaus a messenger app





	1. don't stop me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [title from 'don't stop me now' by queen]

**create new group?**  
[ **yes** ] or [no]

 

**_new group created!_ **

 

 **add members?**  
[ **yes** ] or [no]

 

 **santa klaus** added  **slicey slicey** to the group!

 **santa klaus** added  **cinco** to the group!

 

 **santa klaus:** squad!!!!!!!!

 

 **slicey slicey:** istg

 

 **santa klaus:** god never asked to be sworn at

 

 **cinco:** istfg god klaus

 

 **santa klaus:** both of you ugh show some respect

 **santa klaus:** ben says to show some respect and he's dead so ha

 **santa klaus:** ok so ben slapped me if that makes you happier

 

 **cinco** added  **fuck you leonard** to the group!

 

 **slicey slicey:** s a l t

 

 **fuck you leonard:** i'm so salty you could never

 

 **santa klaus:**..he looked like a porcupine when we found him

 **santa klaus:** a porcupine of knives that is

 

 **cinco:** ah yes klaus because everyone knows what a porcupine of knives looks like

 

 **fuck you leonard:** yeah but he had an eyepatch so he was a..

 **fuck you leonard:** pirate-knife porcupine?

 

 **santa klaus:** and i thought i was the stoner here?

 

 **fuck you leonard:** istg

 

 **santa klaus:** oh lord and now you! everyone is being mean to god 

 

 **cinco:** why aren't luther and allison not on here

 

 **santa klaus:** dunno

 

 **slicey slicey:** yall know luther wouldn't like it :(((

 **slicey slicey:** spaceboy wouldn't like us having fun no no

 

 **fuck you leonard:** no no diego no

 

 **cinco:** true

 **cinco:** but what about alliosn

 **cinco:** oops i meant allison??

 

 **santa klaus:** knock yourself out kid

 **santa klaus:** pleaseibegyou

 

 **cinco:** love you too brother

 

 **slicey slicey:** i read that as love you too boner i need glasses

 

 **santa klaus:** diego with glasses uwu

 

 **slicey slicey:** jfc

 

 **santa klaus:** and now you're attacking jesus? i'm done with this family istg

 **santa klaus:** wait shit

 

 

 


	2. so happy together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slicey slicey: why is luther using grammar lmaooo  
> slicey slicey: ooOHO klaus is hot
> 
> fuck you leonard: klaus stop
> 
> santa klaus: now tHAT was diego
> 
>  
> 
> [title from 'happy together' by the turtles OR gerard way ft. ray toro]

[no group chat name]

 

 **santa klaus:** holy shit there's no group chat name this is una emergencia

 

 **santa klaus** changed the group chat name to  **no one loves klaus**!

 

 **santa klaus:** fight me

 

 **cinco:** i uh don't want to.

 

 **fuck you leonard:** how salty are you now

 

 **slicey slicey:** ah wait is this my cue to say 'oh klaus i love you' or smth

 

 **santa klaus:** i beg you

 

 **cinco:** kinky ey

 

 **santa klaus:** you're like 13???

 

 **fuck you leonard:** "no, my consciousness is 58. apparently my body is now 13 again"

 

 **cinco:** ^^

 

 **slicey slicey:** ok klaus i love you now lets add allison and luther

 

 **fuck you leonard:** nOT LUTHER

 **fuck you leonard:** diego you were the one that said luther didn't like it!

 

 **santa klaus:** diego is drunk right now.

 

 **slicey slicey:** klaus is fuckin hot istg

 

 **santa klaus:** and here we are again, swearing at god 

 

 **cinco:** i honestly can't tell if diego genuinely thinks klaus is hot or if he's drunk off his ass

 

 **santa klaus:** i like the first one tbh

 

 **fuck you leonard:** o k a y s t o p

 **fuck you leonard:** fuck it if you cowards won't add them then i will

 

 **fuck you leonard** added  **alisson** to the group!

 **fuck you leonard** added  **4 fucking years** to the group!

 

 **slicey slicey:** brace yourselfs ehehehehehehehe dAD sEnT mE tO tHe mOoNNNNn

 

 **fuck you leonard:** exactly how drunk is diego

 

 **santa klaus:** i sent that though--

 

 **4 fucking years:** What is this?

 

 **cinco:** i already want to rip my eyes out

 

 **alisson:** happy days

 

 **slicey slicey:** why is luther using grammar lmaooo

 **slicey slicey:** ooOHO klaus is hot

 

 **fuck you leonard:** klaus stop

 

 **santa klaus:** now tHAT was diego

 

 **fuck you leonard:** ah

 **fuck you leonard:** who do i trust

 

 **4 fucking years:** Well, our Dad sent me to the moon for 4 years, so...

 

 **slicey slicey:** you wanna make a book about it

 

 **4 fucking years:** I mean...that would be cool, I guess...

 

 **alisson:** [hint: sarcasm]

 

 **4 fucking years:** Ah.

 

 **santa klaus:** so right now i'm looking after a drunk knife guy and a certain 13/58 year old man who's trying to gauge his eyeballs out 

 

 **fuck you leonard:** i'll leave you to it

 

 **santa klaus:** o i'm sure you will :]

 


	3. one is the loneliest number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alisson: diego you upset your boyfriend go comfort him
> 
> slicey slicey: he's not my boyfriend!!!  
> slicey slicey: but what about you and luther huh
> 
> cinco: i hEaRd a RuMoUr--
> 
> alisson: so young and so fucking annoying aren't you?
> 
> cinco: i've been told
> 
>  
> 
> [title from 'one' by three dog night]

no one loves klaus

 

 **santa klaus:** ok i have a fun, family-bonding idea

 

 **slicey slicey:** do i even want to know?

 

 **santa klaus:** yes diego of course you do <33333

 

 **slicey slicey:** o h g o d

 

 **santa klaus:** you know you love meeeee

 

 **alisson:** i'm living for the kliego yeheeeeee

 

 **slicey slicey:** allison you're my sister but i have knives in my pocket

 

 **alisson:** hmm sure diego i know you could never do that to your sister tho :)

 

 **slicey slicey:** um

 **slicey slicey:** so klaus what is this family-bonding idea

 

 **santa klaus:** ohohohohohohO

 

 **cinco:** and this is where we all have to escape whilst we can 

 

 **santa klaus:** so like none of yall have ever lived and gone to a club before 

 **santa klaus:** except for luther ofc ;)

 

 **4 fucking years:** Actually die

 

 **santa klaus:** oh i've tried

 

 **slicey slicey:** >:(

 

 **alisson:** uwu diego loves klaus

 

 **slicey slicey:** WE'RE BROTHERS???

 

 **santa klaus:** yeah

 

 **alisson:** also i can't be bothered to go to a club

 

 **santa klaus:** ok shall i reword it

 **santa klaus:** someone get drunk with me pleaase

 

 **fuck you leonard:** diego is stuck to your side half the time these days so just get drunk with him

 

 **slicey slicey:** yeah ok why do you think i never come out of my room these days

 

 **fuck you leonard:** eye--

 

**cinco:**

**cinco:** got em

 

 **fuck you leonard:** that was leonard's eye and leonard is a shithead

 

 **slicey slicey:** also your ex who you killed

 

 **fuck you leonard:** i hate glass eyes ugh

 

 **santa klaus:** SOMEONE ANSWER MEEEEe

 **santa klaus:** pls

 

 **slicey slicey:** oh pleasE shut your pipe hole

 **slicey slicey:** you've got drunk too many times lately just like tone it down

 

 **santa klaus:** sadsadsad

 

 **alisson:** diego you upset your boyfriend go comfort him

 

 **slicey slicey:** he's not my boyfriend!!!

 **slicey slicey:** but what about you and luther huh

 

 **cinco:** i hEaRd a RuMoUr--

 

 **alisson:** so young and so fucking annoying aren't you?

 

 **cinco:** i've been told

 **cinco:** also, why is your username spelt wrong?

 

 **alisson:** hA so i asked claire to make my account idk why nd that's how she spells my name ^-^

 

 **4 fucking years:** Cute

 

 **santa klaus:** no one asked you luther

 

 **4 fucking years:** I hate you

 

 **santa klaus:** haha i know you do

 

 **slicey slicey:** aight klaus let's go somewhere that  _isn't_ a bar

 

 **alisson:** cute boyfriends on a roadtrip!!

 

 **slicey slicey:** allison istg

 

 **santa klaus:** SWEARING AT GOD AGAIN ARE WE HMMMM

 **santa klaus:** DO I REALLY WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE WITH YOU???

 

 **fuck you leonard:** sinners

 

 **cinco:** sTAND UP SING HALLELUJAH

 

 **fuck you leonard:** hALLELUJAH

 

 **alisson:** uwu

 

 **santa klaus:** LUTHER UR 'DATING' A FURRY

 **santa klaus:** k diego lets go before luther finds me and uh kills me

 

 **4 fucking years:** Am I the only sane one here?

 

 **cinco:** sane enough to use grammar ew??

 **cinco:** diego can you take me i don't want to die--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twitter if you want: @gatsebeunui :)


	4. when the thunder and lightening comes, i know that you'll be by my side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> santa klaus: anyway i want to conduct an experiment!!!
> 
> cinco: o no
> 
> santa klaus: ugh you guys stop being mean :((
> 
> slicey slicey: five i get ur a kid or smth but you made him sad 
> 
> alisson: ~~boyfriend culture~~
> 
>  
> 
> [title from 'in the heat of the moment' by noel gallagher's high flying birds]

no one loves klaus

 

 **santa klaus:** can someone give me money pls

 

 **alisson:** why would i give a junkie some money?

 

 **santa klaus:** b-because you love your brother that much

 

 **slicey slicey:** he hasn't actually got high in a few days be nice 

 

 **alisson:** sticking up for your man is boyfriend culture :")

 

 **slicey slicey:** you have a crap boyfriend then!

 

 **alisson:** shut up

 

 **santa klaus:** anyway i want to conduct an experiment!!!

 

 **cinco:** o no

 

 **santa klaus:** ugh you guys stop being mean :((

 

 **slicey slicey:** five i get ur a kid or smth but you made him sad 

 

**alisson:** ~~boyfriend culture~~

 

 

 **slicey slicey:** we're siblings and no

 

 **cinco:** oh come on diego that didn't stop luther did it

 

 **slicey slicey:** no shit 

 **slicey slicey:** but klaus is still hung up on dave and anyways i don't have feelings for him so 

 **slicey slicey:** let's end this conversation

 **slicey slicey:** how much money do you need

 

 **santa klaus:** how much does a phone cost these days

 

 **fuck you leonard:** you already have a phone?

 

 **santa klaus:** i know but i want to see if ben could use one!

 

 **alisson:** klaus i don't think he'll be able to...

 

 **santa klaus:** nd that's why it's an experiment!

 

 **fuck you leonard:** but won't it be a let down if he can't?

 

 **santa klaus:** i just want to try

 

 **cinco:** hmmm trying sucks though

 **cinco:** i mean i tried to jump forward in time... and i did and then spent some years in the apocalypse and that kinda sucked tbh

 

 **santa klaus:** i don't care imma do it 

 **santa klaus:** diego can you drive meeeeee :3

 

 **slicey slicey:** sure 

 

**alisson:** ~~bOYFRIENDS~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mkay should ben be able to use the phone or not? comment!


	5. i'm coming home for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alisson: ben?
> 
> BENHRGRVS: hi
> 
> fuck you leonard: JSAKLJDKSALJKLSJKLSJKLDJSKALDJKLAJDKALSJDKLASJDKLAJDSKLJS
> 
> cinco: OKAY I FELT AN EMOTION WEL LDONE BEN  
> cinco: also howdy ben
> 
> BENHRGRVS: why hello ther
> 
>  
> 
> [title from 'coming home' by jj project]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by 'popular demand' (so the 6 or 7 people who commented), ben will be joining the gang!

no one loves klaus

 

**santa klaus:** GUYS GUYSGUYSGYASUDYFUD

 

**slicey slicey:** SKSJKJDKSJDKSJDKJDKSJKJSDKJSDKJKDJSKSJDKSJ

**slicey slicey:** SOMEONE

 

**santa klaus:** ANYONE

 

**slicey slicey:** PLeASE

 

**cinco:** shut the fuck up i'm trying to sleep

 

**santa klaus:** oh yeah well we're 'trying' to see if yall will be able to communicate with ben and i ain't telling yall to shut the fuck up

 

**slicey slicey:** play nice

 

**cinco:** wait does it work

 

**santa klaus:** I WANT EVERYONE ELSE TO BE HERE >:(

 

**slicey slicey:** wake them up pls

 

**cinco:** wait where are you two

**cinco:** three**

 

**santa klaus:** :")

 

**slicey slicey:** outside a phone store

 

**alisson:** OKAY WHAT

 

**fuck you leonard:** WHATS THE TEA

 

**4 fucking years:** What's happening?

**4 fucking years:** OH!

**4 fucking years:** Okay, I see...

 

**cinco:** and once again, i want to gauge my eyes out!

 

**santa klaus:** stay for this then go gauge

 

**cinco:** skdjskjdskjd

**cinco:** can you guys believe this

**cinco:** i'm feeling emotions

 

**alisson:** says the 13 year old

 

**santa klaus:** 13 is a tough age >:(

 

**fuck you leonard:** ah yes because 'dad' locked you up with the dead people didn't he

 

**santa klaus:** yes

 

**slicey slicey:** ok klaus just do it please we're waitinggggggg

 

**santa klaus:** OKAYOKAYOKAYAOKAYASIJDKLSAJDKLASJDKLSAJ

**santa klaus:** IT'S HAPPENING

 

**santa klaus** added  **BENHRGRVS** to the group!

 

**santa klaus:** we'll change the username later lmao

 

**alisson:** ben?

 

**BENHRGRVS:** hi

 

**fuck you leonard:** JSAKLJDKSALJKLSJKLSJKLDJSKALDJKLAJDKALSJDKLASJDKLAJDSKLJS

 

**cinco:** OKAY I FELT AN EMOTION WEL LDONE BEN

**cinco:** also howdy ben

 

**BENHRGRVS:** why hello ther

 

**cinco:** why do i have tears in my eyes

 

**4 fucking years:** Hi Ben!

 

**BENHRGRVS:** hello luther.

 

**slicey slicey:** okay it's official

**slicey slicey:** no one likes luther yEHET!

 

**alisson:** no he isn't!

 

**slicey slicey:** no one likes luther EXCEPT the uh weird one

 

**alisson:** fuck you too

 

**BENHRGRVS:** aight bitches i'm here so you can lay off the hostility now

**BENHRGRVS:** diego.

 

**slicey slicey:** damn okay

 

**fuck you leonard:** damn indeed

 

**santa klaus:** anyone gonna congratulate me??

 

**alisson:** ya think

 

**slicey slicey:** well done klaus *clapclapclapclap*

 

**santa klaus:** awww diegoooooo~~~

 

**slicey slicey:** please stop

 

**BENHRGRVS:** istg they're arguing like a married couple and i am here for it

 

**alisson:** kliego?

 

**BENHRGRVS:** KLIEGO

 

**alisson:** :")

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are highly appreciated!! thanks for readingggggg


	6. if i could turn back time and see my future, i would know which way to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BENHRGRVS: oh shut up klaus  
> BENHRGRVS: you're horny and you miss dave and tbh diego is the only guy you talk to who looks remotely good looking  
> BENHRGRVS: no offence to anyone ofc
> 
> cinco: none taken you son of a bitch
> 
> BENHRGRVS: now think about it: we technically were sons (and daughters) of a bitch  
> BENHRGRVS: except for the fact that he wasn't a female dog.. or female anyway but--  
> BENHRGRVS: reggie's a+ parenting we stan
> 
> fuck you leonard: the truth
> 
>  
> 
> [title from 'tomorrow, today' by jj project]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated in a while (honestly does anyone care)! i was on holiday for a few days and decided to take a break from social media because i'm cool and edgy like that 😎
> 
> but i'm back!
> 
> i'm so glad you guys like this book it's so fun to write skskdjskdjsk and some of the comments on the last chapter istg made my day 🤧🤧🤧

no one loves klaus

 

**BENHRGRVS:** yo

**BENHRGRVS:** allison

 

**alisson:** howdy

 

**BENHRGRVS:** kliego

 

**alisson:** YES YES YES IM LISTENING

 

**BENHRGRVS:** it's sailing

 

**alisson:** WHAT WHERE WHEN HOW 

 

**BENHRGRVS:** jk i wish :(

 

**santa klaus:** hmm don't you just hate it when your dead brother ships you with your other brother?

 

**cinco:** honestly

**cinco:** i can't relate

 

**santa klaus:** no you can't because diego is mine to be shipped with and no one wants luther to be shipped with anyone

 

**BENHRGRVS:** oh shut up klaus

**BENHRGRVS:** you're horny and you miss dave and tbh diego is the only guy you talk to who looks remotely good looking

**BENHRGRVS:** no offence to anyone ofc

 

**cinco:** none taken you son of a bitch

 

**BENHRGRVS:** now think about it: we technically were sons (and daughters) of a bitch

**BENHRGRVS:** except for the fact that he wasn't a female dog.. or female anyway but--

**BENHRGRVS:** reggie's a+ parenting we stan

 

**fuck you leonard:** the truth

 

**BENHRGRVS:** also, you know the most disgusting thing

**BENHRGRVS:** i have to be around klaus when he's

**BENHRGRVS:** um

**BENHRGRVS:** ~~_pleasuring himself_ ~~

 

**santa klaus:** smh if you weren't a ghost i'd smack your ass so fucking hard you would like

**santa klaus:** cry

 

**BENHRGRVS:** see? he's kinky as well!

 

**alisson:** I'M--

 

**santa klaus:** why did i ever give you a phone

 

**BENHRGRVS:** because you love me klaussssssss *kisskiss*

**BENHRGRVS:** oh but not as much as you love diego right?

 

**santa klaus:** :(

 

**slicey slicey:** we need to put restrictions on ben's phone istg

 

**BENHRGRVS:** THERE'S THE OTHER ONE

 

**slicey slicey:** HOW DO WE SHUT THIS HOE UP

 

**BENHRGRVS:** wasn't that the last thing dad said to me or smth

 

**alisson:** once again I'M--

 

**4 fucking years** left the group!

 

**santa klaus:** ben i love you

 

**BENHRGRVS:** DIEGO IS ON THIS CHA TKLAUS

 

**santa klaus:** FUCK YOU BEN

 

**BENHRGRVS:** what about dIEGO THOUGH

**BENHRGRVS:** z cx,.rgjiuhnetoirrrrk'p.l,:r

 

**alisson:** what was that thump

 

**santa klaus:** so maybe i threw ben's phone at a wall.

**santa klaus:** mAYBE

 

**cinco:** well now klaus is stamping on the phone so..

 

**santa klaus:** get out of my room to undersized middle aged man

 

**cinco:** oh of course

**cinco:** don't wanna know what you and diego have been doing here ew

 

**santa klaus:** i hate this fucking family smh

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for readinggggg!
> 
> rate ben out of 10 in the comments 🤧


	7. omo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alisson: shut the fuck up could you ?  
> alisson: some people want to sleep
> 
> cinco: you're the only one who wants to sleep
> 
> santa klaus: i want to sleep  
> santa klaus: but i have to deal with ben ! ! !
> 
> BENHARGRVS: love you too bby
> 
> slicey slicey: :0
> 
> alisson: do i sMELL
> 
> slicey slicey: no you can't smell
> 
> alisson: JEALOUSY ?
> 
> slicey slicey: as a wise man once said  
> slicey slicey: shut up hoe  
> slicey slicey: that wise man being me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this took so long to update! i haven't been in a good place lately and didn't feel motivated to update this or anything for that matter but here ya go!

no one loves klaus

 

**santa klaus** removed  **BENHRGRVS** from the group!

**santa klaus** added  **BENHARGRVS** to the group!

 

**BENHARGRVS:** aight bitches i'm ben and i'm back

 

**cinco:** ben hargreeves is his name

**cinco:** being dead is his game

 

**BENHARGRVS:** i would say i'm triggered but i have no life

 

**fuck you leonard:** what phone do you have then

 

**BENHARGRVS:** well klaus spent a shit ton of money buying me an iphone x the first time so i've now got a nokia :)

 

**fuck you leonard:** that's some quality content lads

 

**BENHARGRVS:** sis ur the one that kinda caused the apocalypse 

 

**fuck you leonard:** yeah only kinda

 

**cinco:** how does that have  _any_ relevance to what yall were just talking about

 

**fuck you leonard:** BEN STARTED IT

 

**BENHARGRVS:** YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME WHAT PHONE I HAVE, THEREFORE STARTING THIS DUMB CONVERSATION YOU BITCH

 

**alisson:** shut the fuck up could you ?

**alisson:** some people want to sleep

 

**cinco:** you're the only one who wants to sleep

 

**santa klaus:** i want to sleep

**santa klaus:** but i have to deal with ben ! ! !

 

**BENHARGRVS:** love you too bby

 

**slicey slicey:** :0

 

**alisson:** do i sMELL

 

**slicey slicey:** no you can't smell

 

**alisson:** _JEALOUSY ?_

 

**slicey slicey:** as a wise man once said

**slicey slicey:** shut up hoe

**slicey slicey:** that wise man being me

 

**alisson:** try me

 

**slicey slicey:** :0

 

**alisson:** stop

 

**BENHARGRVS:** hAJIMA

 

**cinco:** uwu koreaboo!!

 

**BENHARGRVS:** i'm korean

 

**cinco:** uwu boo!!

 

**santa klaus:** I HAVE A JOKE FOR YOU THOTS

 

**alisson:** oh no

 

**santa klaus:** WHY ARE NORTH KOREA SO GOOD AT MEASURING

 

**slicey slicey:** whywhywhy

 

**santa klaus:** bECAUSE THEY HAVE A SUPREME RULER

 

**BENHARGRVS:** i want to die all over again

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are highly appreciated! and maybe give me ideas for chapters because my brain isn't working lmao
> 
> p.s. dysphoria is abitch


	8. benny boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **BENHARGRVS:** sup you hoes that ngl i strongly dislike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating sooner.

no one loves klaus

 

**fuck you leonard:** so we just leaving luther out of this mess of a group chat now

 

**santa klaus:** oH YEs

 

**alisson:** aww cmon guys

 

**slicey slicey:** over my dead body will we add him back

 

**santa klaus:** then i'd have two annoying ass brothers following my ass

 

**slicey slicey:** i'm hurted

 

**alisson:** uwu

**alisson:** where's ben?

 

**santa klaus:** he slep

 

**cinco:**..he's dead

 

**santa klaus:** fuck

**santa klaus:** idk what he's doing then

 

**slicey slicey:** cool contentttttt

 

**BENHARGVS:** SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

 

**santa klaus:** oh there he is

 

**BENHARGRVS:** sup you hoes that ngl i strongly dislike

 

**fuck you leonard:** thanks bro

 

**cinco:** ly benny

 

**BENHARGRVS:** never call me that again 

 

**cinco:** k benny

 

**BENHARGRVS:** end mii again 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's so short :/


	9. soul kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **fuck you leonard:**  and welcome back to existential hours with number five!  
>  **fuck you leonard:**  this week we are joined by special guests, klaus and diego hargreeves!
> 
> **cinco:**  going to JUMP because of u all!! haha!! >_<
> 
> **santa klaus:**  ew 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY LOVES MY ANGELS I THINK IM BACK. who even remembers this omg. god i'm so sorry i haven't updated this in MONTHS. i kinda forgot about this whoops and i've been trying to start this gc up again but i haven't had any ideas. but i was looking through my works and i really miss this!!! 
> 
> so, i'm going to try and update this fic again <3 thank u all for waiting

no one loves klaus

 

**santa klaus** changed the group chat name to **no one loves this chat :(**!

 

**santa klaus:** no one:

**santa klaus:** you guys: *leaves this chat to rot in hell*

 

**slicey slicey:** ur gonna be the one to rot in hell if you make us talk on this shithole again .

 

**santa klaus:** diego :( im hurt :(

 

**slicey slicey:** suck it

 

**santa klaus:** sure

 

**cinco:** oh

**cinco:** My God.

**cinco:** ew

**cinco:** why do i even

**cinco:** why. just why?

 

**fuck you leonard:** and welcome back to existential hours with number five!

**fuck you leonard:** this week we are joined by special guests, klaus and diego hargreeves!

 

**cinco:** going to JUMP because of u all!! haha!! >_<

 

**santa klaus:** ew 

 

**cinco:** >_<

 

**santa klaus:** STOP YOU CRIMINAL

 

**BENHARGRVS:** no

**BENHARGRVS:** please dont say this chat is making a comeback i beg of you

 

**santa klaus:** yes benny >:)

 

**BENHARGRVS:** having a breakdown brb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so now i'm [back] what do you guys want from this fic?

**Author's Note:**

> ~~anyone notice the small stray kids reference i added~~


End file.
